Love Ignited (Hollywood Series Book 2) Page 9

  He assessed me when I stepped off my golf cart. I wasn’t sure of the repertoire in this situation. Did I hug him? Kiss his cheek? I didn’t know so I just clasped my hands in front of me and stood there.

  “Come here.” He beckoned me closer. I stepped forward, and he pulled me to him. “You look beautiful. I love how your skin glows after an orgasm.”

  “Um, thanks.” I looked down nervously. I was literally trembling but hoped he didn’t notice. He pressed his thumb under my chin, pulling my head up. When our eyes met, I saw his expression flicker. I didn’t know what he was thinking. I wished I could read him like he could read me.

  He leaned down slowly and pressed his lips to mine so softly it was almost as if I’d been kissed by a butterfly. He lingered there for a moment, and I pushed up on my toes, wrapping my arms around him. My reaction only seemed to startle him. He pulled away.

  “I’m sorry,” he said, holding my shoulders to keep me at bay.

  “It’s okay. I want you to—”

  He cleared his throat, interrupting me. “Take off your shorts. From now on, you will always wear a skirt in my presence.” His tone was hard but not mean. I slipped my shorts off, leaving my underwear on. He turned me around to look at my backside. “And never wear a thong again. You’ll wear cotton panties like you had on earlier.”

  Um, okay…I thought all men liked thongs. Sheesh. Could he be more specific? I wanted to roll my eyes, but I refrained. “Do you want me to take them off?” I asked.

  “No, leave them. Just don’t wear them again. They don’t suit you. Remove your shirt and bra.” I could feel my hands shaking at the thought of being nearly nude in front of him, but I did as he asked.

  “Now, take your hair down.” I paused for a moment because I rarely left my hair down. I hadn’t taken care to make it look nice, but I began pulling out the bobby pins anyway. When I pulled them all out, my blonde hair cascaded down my body almost to my waist. I shifted nervously to cover my breasts.

  “Don’t cover yourself. I want to see you.”

  I let my arms hang limply at my sides. Nathan stared at me intensely, and it made me feel scrutinized. I wasn’t perfect. I was thin but not model skinny. My breasts were a small B cup and my own. In his line of work, I was sure he’d seen some of the most beautiful women in the world.

  He blinked a few times, snapping out of whatever trance he’d been in, and led me to the farthest barn post down away from the horses. “Lift your arms,” he said. I did but began to panic when he slid off his belt. He used it to tie my hands above my head.

  “Nathan”—my voice shook—“you aren’t going to beat me with a whip are you?” I thought back to that night when that strange woman was lashing him.

  “Absolutely not.” He cupped my cheek, rubbing his thumb along my cheekbone. I leaned into his touch. It calmed me. “I just want to see what you look like tied up for me.”

  “But you’ll untie me if I ask you to, right?”

  “Are you uncomfortable being restrained?”

  Yes!

  “I’m just nervous.” I managed a small smile.

  “Like I said, I just want to see how beautiful you are tied up for me. I’m not going to throw you into anything hardcore. Besides, I don’t want to hurt you. I want you to submit. I want to please you, but it’s a process.”

  “So we aren’t going to—”

  “You ask too many questions, Ella. I will do with you as I see fit, and you will be grateful for it.” I gave a timid nod. “Unfortunately, I don’t have everything I need to give you the most pleasurable experience possible. I’m truly sorry for that, but we’ll make do with what we have. I’m going to have to touch you more than I would if we were in a Dom/sub environment.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “At home, I have a lot of different things that I use to pleasure my subs, but I don’t have my things here, so I will have to use my hands.”

  I was suddenly grateful that we were not at his place.

  “The purpose of this exercise is to help you trust me. Do you trust that I won’t hurt you?”

  I nodded.

  “Are you sure? You seemed really nervous about allowing me to tie you up.”

  “I feel exposed.”

  “You are exposed.” He walked around me. “Close your eyes, no peeking.” I heard his soft footfalls circling me. Suddenly I felt a light slap on my breast then another closer to the nipple, and I yelped. He did it again, harder, then wrapped his lips around the sore spot, kissing and licking it.

  “How does that feel?”

  “Good,” I whispered.

  “Would you like it if I did it again?”

  I nodded. He slapped my other breast hard right at the nipple then immediately took it into his mouth.

  “Do you see what I meant when I told you that there is a fine line between pleasure and pain?”

  “Yes.”

  “Are you wet for me, Ella?”

  “Yes.” I opened my eyes, but he wasn’t looking at me. Instead, he was distressfully rubbing his face. “Nathan, are you okay?”

  “Did I tell you to open your eyes?”

  “No, but you didn’t tell me not to,” I quickly reasoned. He considered me but regained that hard stare, as if he hadn’t just had a moment of vulnerability or regret; I couldn’t tell which.

  “Do you need to come?” he asked casually. I felt my cheeks burn. “If I ask you what you want, you should tell me. It’s not often that I take requests.”

  “I want you inside of me,” I whispered.

  He laughed, literally laughed. I felt tears prickling at my eyes. When he was done, he glanced at me, and his expression fell. “Are your restraints too tight?”

  I shook my head, trying to push back the rejection I felt.

  “What’s the matter?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Tell me.”

  “If you don’t want me, then why do this? Why put on this charade?” A tear slipped down my face.

  “If I don’t want you? I told you I’ve wanted to be inside you since the moment I saw you. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I thought I made myself clear.”

  “Then why laugh at me? Why not do it already? What are you waiting for?”

  He paused with that soft look again but quickly hardened it. He pressed me against the post. “When and if I claim your pussy, it will be mine. There will be no more trips to see your friend or to a boyfriend or wherever you go to get off. From that moment until I leave this compound, you will rely solely on me for pleasure. Is that what you want? Think carefully before you answer because, so far, all you’ve agreed to is to allow me to show you my dominant side. I don’t share partners. If you want me, then you’ll have to make that commitment to me.”

  “I don’t need to think it over. I want you,” I told him. This had gone from being some sort of experiment to something entirely different. Honestly, it had never been an experiment. I just wanted him.

  “I want you,” I said again selfishly, shamelessly.

  He wiped the stray tear from my face. “Let me think about it,” he said. “Tonight I will bring you to climax, and you will do the same for me, but I won’t have sex you.”

  “Why?” I asked, frustrated. He’d just said that was what he wanted. He knew that was what I wanted when he touched me for the first time.

  “I just need to make sure that’s what’s right for both of us.”

  The rejection hit me again, and I turned my head as much as my position allowed. I was so stupid. Of course this gorgeous, man-of-my-dreams movie star didn’t want me. I was average. He was used to perfection.

  He must’ve sensed how upset I was because he said, “Ella, you don’t know what you’re asking.”

  “Untie me. Untie me right now.”

  “No.”

  “You don’t want me! You’re just toying with me. I’ve seen your dominant side. I get it. You need to be in control of your sexual experiences. You like to tell people what to
do. I’ve learned enough from this experience to be able to continue therapy with you.”

  “Toying with you?”

  “You’re an asshole. Untie me.”

  “I’m an asshole?”

  “A fucking asshole! And as soon as you untie me, I’m going down to see my friend so he can give me what you can’t. I’m going to walk in that bar and let him fuck me so good.” I spat the words at him. “He loves it when I tell him what I want. After he lets me come in his mouth, AGAIN, he’ll be begging to be inside of me…”

  Suddenly, his hand clamped over my mouth hard and he ripped my underwear clean off of me, leaving me completely nude. I cried out in his hand from surprise. The look on his face was stone cold. “You want to get fucked?” I shook my head no, but he pressed his hand over my mouth harder. “There’s more than one way to get fucked, Ella. I could fuck you in the ass. How would you like that?” My eyes widened in horror. “I didn’t think so.”

  He slapped my thighs hard to open them and pushed his fingers inside me. My eyelids fluttered as he rammed them in and out mercilessly. His thumb circled my clit, and I moaned into his hand.

  “I’m going to let go of your mouth, and you’ll say my name. If you say anything else, I will make you regret it.”

  He released my mouth, slowing his pace and curling his fingers to hit that oh-so-sweet spot deep inside of me. “Fuck,” I whispered.

  “What was that?”

  “Fuck, Nathan,” I corrected. I was hanging by my wrists at this point, completely at his mercy. My hips were bucking wildly into his hand. “Nate, please,” I whimpered, “don’t stop.” But he did stop.

  I snapped my eyes open to see the fiercest look I’d ever seen him wear. “Do you think I’ll let you tell me another man knows your taste without me knowing it? Did you think I would let you go fuck someone else after I’ve put my hands on you?”

  He didn’t realize it, but he’d just shown me how to get what I wanted, so I took advantage of it. “Well, if you aren’t going to get the job done…” I challenged. He hoisted my legs up around his neck with my wrists still tied to the beam, leaving me lying horizontal in mid-air. I held onto the beam for leverage.

  He licked up my core once, and it rocked me, twice, and he moaned. “You taste like honey,” he said before easing me back against the post. He stepped toward me again, licking his fingers before untying me. He had a sort of anger in his tone when he said, “Get on your knees.” I’d made him jealous and it was showing.

  I did as he asked. I could’ve come right then if he’d licked me one more time. He undid his jeans, unleashing himself. For the first time, I got a full view of Nathan Bradley. Whoa.

  “Open,” he said, jerking my head back by my hair. As soon as I did, he thrust into my mouth. He was being very rough. I was ashamed to admit that I was turned on by it. “You’ll take it all, every inch.” I tried to pull back, but he thrust harder, fisting my hair tighter.

  “Did you think I would let you come after that bullshit you just pulled?” he ground out between thrusts. “Did you?” He pushed in deeper, so deep that I gagged. I was no longer turned on. I was freaked out by the anger in his actions.

  Tears were rolling down my face from his size, but I kept going. I wrapped my hand around him and worked him harder to make him come faster. I wanted to get it over with. Part of me wanted to stop, and I could have, but I didn’t. I wanted to own a piece of him like he did me. He grew impossibly bigger and hummed in satisfaction as warm liquid filled my mouth.

  When he was done, he released me. I collapsed on my hands and knees at his feet. Anger and hurt made the tears flow freely.

  After a moment he bent down and lifted me up by my shoulders. When he saw my face, he cupped my cheeks and pulled my mouth to his, kissing me deeply, passionately. The kiss was intoxicating. His hands tangled in my hair, and he wrapped my legs around his waist, pressing me against the wooden post.

  As the kiss deepened further, I felt a pang in my jaw from how rough he’d been when I was going down on him. It brought me to my senses, and I shoved him away, dropping back to my feet. His features twisted into some emotion I couldn’t read. He reached out to wipe the tears from my face, but I slapped his hand away.

  “Don’t touch me!” He grabbed my wrist, pulling me to him again. I struggled, but he was stronger.

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “I went too far.”

  I wrenched my wrist free and slapped him across the face as hard as I could. “Don’t ever fucking touch me again.” He stood there completely unaffected by my hit. Of course, he liked it.

  “Ella, I didn’t mean to hurt you. Are you hurt?”

  “I’m fine. Just leave me alone.” I grabbed my clothes, trying to get dressed as quickly as possible, but he came at me again.

  “Please stop. This isn’t how it works. I need to hold you. I need to make sure you’re okay.”

  “I’m fine!”

  “You’re upset.”

  “Because you’re treating me like a whore.”

  “What do you expect? You intentionally provoked me. You think I want to hear about you fucking another man? Did you think I could stand the thought of it?”

  “What do you care? You clearly don’t want me! You have to think about whether or not you want to sleep with me? What is that?”

  “I want you too much! That’s the problem!”

  My anger faltered at his words. “What does that even mean?”

  “Nothing.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “You’re right. I don’t deserve to touch you.”

  “I didn’t say that.”

  “That’s what you meant, isn’t it?”

  “No,” I whispered. “I don’t deserve to be treated like a whore. That’s what I meant. And I don’t deserve to be laughed at or humiliated for your amusement.”

  “I wasn’t laughing at you. I think it’s adorable that you’re so eager. As for the way I treated you, I was too rough for your first time, I know. Unfortunately, I don’t think I would know how to treat you the way you’re accustomed to being treated. I thought you understood that. I’m sorry.”

  I stood there for a moment deliberating. “I tried your way. I gave you what you wanted—”

  “I haven’t come close to doing what I want to do with you,” he interrupted, sending a chill up my spine.

  “I was going to say that maybe you could try my way?”

  “No.”

  “I could show you how to—”

  “No, Ella,” he said sternly. “I’m not built that way.”

  “How do you know? You’ve never tried.”

  “I just know. I crave this. I need it.”

  “Just like the monster craves punishment?”

  “Don’t,” he warned.

  “Why not? You want to suppress that need. What if you have to give up control to achieve that? The behaviors are very similar.”

  “They’re completely opposite! Isn’t that what I’ve been trying to show you?”

  “If you crave them both equally—”

  “I don’t. I can suppress the need to be punished with enough drugs and booze. I can’t suppress the need for control.”

  “Have you ever tried?”

  “I don’t want to. I like it,” he yelled. “In fact, it’s the only thing I enjoy at this point! I’ve ruined my career; my family has disowned me; it’s all I have!”

  “That’s not true, Nathan. I’m sure your career isn’t ruined. You’re a wonderful actor. As for your family, your parents will come around. They’re just grieving.”

  He let out a clipped laugh. “That’s not why they stopped speaking to me, Ella. They walked in on exactly what you did. They called me a monster. I disgust them.”

  I blinked at him a few times. His parents had seen him being beaten and they disowned him? “I’m sure you don’t disgust them.”

  “Their words, verbatim.”

  “Nathan, I’m sorry. I don’t know your parents, but they are wrong. You aren’t disg
usting. You aren’t a monster. I think you could benefit from a little change and therapy, but there’s nothing wrong with you on a fundamental level. You’ve just been taught certain things differently than most of us. You’ve had different experiences. That doesn’t make you a monster; it just makes you different.”

  He stared out into the night with his arms crossed over his chest. “Why do you want to help me so badly that you would be willing to do this for me?”

  “Because I’m selfish,” I told him truthfully. He looked at me sharply. “As your therapist, I should have never given in to you on a physical level, much less allowed you to control me when you are admittedly addicted to it. But you were right; I wanted you. You make me feel…”

  “Alive,” he said.

  I smiled. “Yes, but not for the reasons you think. Not for the same reason your need to control makes you feel that way.”

  He came closer to me. “Did I hurt you?”

  “No.”

  “What did I say about lying?”

  “It’s nothing, really.”

  “I was too rough,” he said. I was sore from the rough oral, but I wouldn’t call it an injury; although, I didn’t think it was right for him to treat me the way he did. I felt him sweep my hair to the side. He leaned into my ear, “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay.”

  “No, I completely lost control. That’s never happened before. I promised you that I wouldn’t hurt you, and I did. It won’t happen again.” He pulled me to him, kissing my neck.

  I pulled away, “No, Nathan, it won’t happen again because we aren’t doing this again.”

  He tensed. “But you just said that you wanted to…”

  I ran my fingertips through his hair the way I’d wanted to since that first day in my office, “I did, but it’s not what’s best for you. I was wrong to play into this. I’m so sorry. I really let you down. Now that I know everything, I think I can at least try to steer you in the right direction. Maybe when you leave here, I can send you to someone in LA who can help you, if you are willing to confide in them. That will be your choice.”