Love Ignited (Hollywood Series Book 2) Read online

  His arms around me calmed me. His words soothed me. I leaned into him and cried. I just let go. My adrenaline was depleted, and all of the fear poured out of me in tears.

  He seemed surprised at my outward display of emotion. I didn’t blame him. He had no idea why I was so upset. He must’ve thought I was crazy, but bless his heart, he held me tighter, seemingly surprising even himself.

  After a few minutes, he pulled my head out of his shirt to look at me. “Did someone hurt you?”

  “Please, Nate. Please don’t ask me to tell you this. I can’t.” A fresh tear slid down my face, and he wiped it away with his thumb.

  “Okay.” he nodded. “But just tell me this, are you in danger? Has someone threatened you?”

  “Not today,” I said, and the case was closed. I didn’t have anything else to offer him on the subject. He seemed to sense as much. His jaw tightened, but he didn’t ask me any more about it. Instead, he picked me up and laid me on my bed.

  “I’m sorry. Like I said, I needed to see you. I couldn’t be away from you another minute.”

  “I don’t think I’m really up for a Dominant lesson right now,” I joked, trying to lighten the mood. I was embarrassed that I’d broken down that way.

  “About that…I was thinking about what you said.” He paused looking down at his hands. “I know you said that we couldn’t be physical anymore, but I don’t think I can accept that.”

  “Nathan.” I shook my head at him.

  “Just hear me out. I…I’ll try your way,” he said so softly that I wasn’t sure I heard him right. “If it means I get to be with you, I’ll try.”

  I recognized this as a huge step for him, but the fact still remained that we shouldn’t. “I know what it must have taken for you to say that, but I don’t think we should.”

  “I need you,” he said. “I know it sounds messed up. I didn’t mean to just say it like that.” He rubbed his face. “It’s just, you’re different. You make me want to be better.”

  “I want you to want to be better for you, not for me.”

  “Stop psychoanalyzing me for two seconds, please. Stop thinking like a therapist. How do you feel?”

  “I missed you, but—” was all I got out before his lips were on mine. He kissed me softly. I felt his lips tremble. “Nathan, are you sure you want this? You don’t have to do this for me.”

  “I don’t know if I’ll be good at it. I don’t know if I can please you this way, but I want to try. I need to try. What you said about my being different, you were right. Maybe I can be different. You make me feel different. You believe in me.”

  I smiled and nodded. The way he said it made me melt in his arms. This time, I didn’t feel the pull of professionalism tugging me away. I just felt him. I felt all the suppressed want I had held in over the years release into this moment with this man.

  “Guide me,” he whispered.

  I rolled him onto his back and climbed on top of him. He was momentarily stunned. I could tell he wasn’t used to the position, but he relaxed when I caressed his face. We sat up together, and I pulled his shirt over his head. Then I kissed down the muscles of his chest and stomach until I reached the top of his jeans.

  His hand immediately tightened around my upper arm, but I gently pulled it away. He was so tense when I got his jeans off that I spent a moment running my hands over his body.

  After I felt like he was as relaxed as he was going to get, I took my time roaming his body, licking him, kissing him, touching him before I took him in my mouth. He moaned and tried to thrust upward, but I didn’t let him control the pace. Every time he thrust, I pulled back, forcing him to relinquish control and just enjoy the feel of what I was doing to him. It was a process. I didn’t know how long we went back and forth before I was able to set a rhythm that I knew pleased him.

  “Ella,” he moaned, “you’re going to make me come.”

  I pulled back. “Isn't that what you want?”

  “I want to be inside you if that’s what you want.” I smiled because yeah, that’s what I wanted!

  I lay on my back, pulling him on top of me.

  “Go down on me,” I told him, feeling surer of myself than I had when we had messed around before. He smiled, kissed me, and headed down, taking off every stitch of clothing on his way. Again, I could tell he wasn’t used to this position. He wasn’t used to being in bed with a woman, but he didn’t argue. He was trying his best to give me what I needed, like I had done for him.

  Tit for tat.

  He hummed with satisfaction when his tongue grazed me. “I love your taste.” The man was a pro. He didn’t tease me like I expected. He dove in with everything he had. He had me on the verge in a minute flat. But I, like him, wanted him inside of me. When I was quivering and squirming, he took my hips to hold me still, so I sat up suddenly, pulling him into a kiss.

  “Condom,” I said.

  He froze. “I don’t have one. I don’t generally use condoms.”

  “What?”

  “It isn’t like this. There’s a lot of paperwork involved in what I do with women.”

  “Are you crazy?”

  “No, I’m very thorough. Besides, sometimes intercourse isn’t even a part of what I do with my subs.”

  I didn’t question him further because I was dumbfounded. I had actually seen his lab work; I knew he was clean, but still. It seemed reckless not to use protection.

  “You must have one, right?” he asked.

  “I don’t think so…wait,” I said jumping up. I went to my closet, going through every purse, handbag, and clutch I owned until I found a single condom in my Chanel shoulder bag. Yes!

  I danced across the strewn purses, bouncing back to the bed with a victorious smirk. He took the foil packet from me, pushing me back onto the mattress. His head was between my legs again, bringing me to the brink.

  When I was on the verge, I grabbed his chin and pulled him up to me.

  “How should…? Do you want me to?”

  I kissed him again, taking his length in my hand, rubbing him until he moaned into my neck. “Do whatever you feel is right,” I told him because, so far, he was doing everything just the way I liked.

  He ripped open the foil packet with his teeth, handing it to me. I rolled it on him. He was on top of me, poised at my entrance. He squinted, a silent question as if to ask if this was okay. I nodded to encourage him, and he filled me in one thrust. I cried out from the pressure of him. He didn’t slow like a lover should to allow me to get used to his size. Instead, my yelp spurred him. He pulled back, slamming into me again. My hands went out of their own volition, pressing on his stomach to slow him down, but he kept going.

  “Nate, slow down,” I said. His eyes met mine, and he nodded, slowing his pace a fraction. “Slower,” I instructed. He watched my face now, the way a lover should. When he got into the right rhythm, I pressed into him, letting my eyelids flutter closed. A subtle signal and he got the message.

  I pulled him to me, kissing him, wrapping my legs around him to push him deeper. I could tell by his moans that he was enjoying me.

  “You feel so good,” he whispered as he rocked into me.

  He was moving so slow now that I couldn’t take the buildup. I was thrusting my hips up to meet him. He gritted his teeth, trying to hold back, but I didn’t want him to. I wanted him to move faster and harder. He had a difficult time keeping up. For someone so perceptive, he seemed absolutely clueless as to how to read my body language now. Maybe it was the newness of the experience.

  “Roll over,” I said. He rolled us so I was on top. Then he suddenly froze again. He probably hadn’t had a woman on top of him during intercourse since he’d been with the dominatrix. “It’s okay.” I kissed him, rocking into him slowly to show him that I was nothing like her. I wasn’t punishing him. I wasn’t going to hurt him.

  He broke our kiss. “I can’t, not like this,” he said. His tone was so desperate that I imagined if he had set a safe word with me, he woul
d’ve been screaming it. He had pushed my limits, so I pushed his. I met him in the middle. I sat up on him, bring his hands to my breasts and made him pinch my nipples. He seemed placated. The more I moved, the harder he pinched.

  I pried one of his hands away from my breast, bringing his thumb to my nub. He took my cue, rubbing me softly. I was so deep in pleasure that I barely heard him when he said, “Come for me.” He was touching me in all the right places, and I shattered around him. As soon as I came, I was on my back, his hand around my neck. I could tell by the way he gritted his teeth that it took every ounce of strength he had to keep from hurting me. He thrust into me twice more before collapsing on top of me.

  I ran my fingers up and down his spine gently. After ten minutes, he was still nuzzled in my shoulder, unmoving. “Nate, are you alright?”

  He lifted up, putting his hands on either side of my face. “You were right. We shouldn’t have done that.” Something inside me sank. I closed my eyes and nodded, unsure of how to reply. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to leave now,” he said before seizing my lips. I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him impossibly closer.

  I didn’t want him to leave either.

  We kissed for I didn’t know how long before exhaustion took us both. When I woke up, I was surprised that he was snuggled up to me. He seemed so tough. I never would’ve imagined him like this.

  “Nate,” I whispered, touching his face. He was out cold. I managed to slide out from under him without waking him. It was daylight. I glanced at the clock and saw that it was noon. SHIT!

  “Nathan,” I said, shaking him awake.

  He pulled me to him, smiling sleepily. “How do you feel about morning breath?”

  “Nathan, it’s noon!”

  “So?”

  “Mrs. Faulkner is probably freaking out. You aren’t there, and I haven’t checked in.”

  “Calm down, babe,” he said, trying out the pet name. He almost sounded normal for the first time since we’d met, but then he scrunched his face up. “Too much?”

  “Nah, I like it.” I smiled but quickly went back into panic mode. “Keep your head in the game. Mrs. Faulkner is going to lose it, babe.”

  “Relax, I haven’t checked in with her in two days. I’ve been down at the stables or out riding Fierce the past two mornings and afternoons. The only time I’ve seen her is at lunch and dinner.”

  “Just because you haven’t checked in doesn’t mean she doesn’t know where you are. Trust me, she knows where you are at all times, babe.”

  He smiled. “Mock me again. I dare you.”

  “This is not funny!”

  “Will she call the cops?”

  “I don’t know. We’ve never had anyone disappear before. I assume that she would get in touch with me before she took drastic measures, though. I should call her right now.” I went to get up, but his grip tightened on my wrists. “Nathan…”

  “Kiss me and I’ll let you up.” I rolled my eyes, dropping a peck on his lips, but he shook his head. “Kiss me like you did last night.”

  “I’ll need my hands for that.” He released me. I took his face in my hands and kissed him deeply. Every time our tongues collided, I felt a spark run through me. It took everything I had to pull away. “I have to call the facility, or we’re both screwed.”

  “Hmm, I’m thinking after you call them we should both fuck…thoroughly.” He nipped at my ass with his teeth as I got up. This man! What was I going to do with him?

  I grabbed my robe and ran for my home office. The message light blinked wildly. “Shit.” I didn’t bother listening; I just called up to the facility. Mrs. Faulkner sounded frantic when she answered.

  “Ella, where have you been?” She sounded like my mother, back when my mother cared.

  “I’m sorry. I should’ve called.”

  “You know, I almost called the police. I thought of it. I called Richard Macon, and he advised against it; that’s the only reason I didn’t.”

  “I’m fine. Please calm down. I’m sorry to have worried you.”

  “I thought…I can’t even say what I thought.”

  Guilt washed over me. I heard the tears in her voice. “I’m so sorry. It won’t happen again,” I promised her.

  “You better make sure that it doesn’t, or I won’t be here when you get back. Don’t expect me to sit up here worrying half the day while you are out sleeping it off with Joe Blow bartender from the local watering hole.”

  I slumped in my chair, relieved that she’d come up with an excuse for me. I certainly hadn’t thought of one.

  “Yes, ma’am,” I told her. She wasn’t my kin, but she had been like a mother to me since I had known her.

  I heard her shuffle the telephone receiver as she collected herself. “Now, if we can get back to work, we have a problem.”

  “Oh?” I said.

  “Mr. Bradley was in his room when I went to bed, but I haven’t seen him since. For the past two days, he’s snuck out to ride Fierce thinking I was still asleep. I thought he’d just slipped by me this morning, but Fierce is still in the stable. Now I’m sure he’s on the property…mostly. I’m mostly sure that he’s still on the property,” she corrected, “but I’ve lost track of him. He’s been turning up for lunch right about noon, but he hasn’t today.”

  “Well…” I started but decided that my tone wasn’t believable. I would be angry if he weren’t in my bed. “Well,” I said again with an edge, “that’s inexcusable. He shouldn’t have been slipping out to begin with. He should’ve notified you of his whereabouts. I’ll handle it. I will be up shortly.”

  “Okay,” she said. I was about to hang up when she called out to me, “Ella, please don’t do that to me again.”

  “I promise you that I won’t.” With that, she hung up.

  “You’ll ‘handle me’ huh?” Nathan said from the doorway.

  “Stop sneaking up on me!”

  “Are you ready to tell me why you’re so jumpy?”

  I stared at him for a beat but pretended I didn’t hear him. “Listen, I’m going to go up. You come in after me and do whatever it is that you usually do during lunch, okay?”

  “What are we, in high school?”

  “I’m serious, Nathan. This is my career we’re talking about.”

  He walked over and kissed my forehead. “Okay. No worries.”

  “I’m probably going to yell at you, so heads up.”

  “Yeah?” He smiled, pinching my behind. “You want me to put on a show? I usually charge for that, but I guess I’ll give you this one on the house.”

  “Gee, thanks.”

  I forewent a much-needed shower to rush up there. As nervous as I was about being seen with Nathan, I walked him out of my gate. I couldn’t leave him at my house. I wasn’t comfortable with that.

  I steeled myself at the front door of the large building that had been a sanctuary to many patients…but not Nathan. Nathan had found comfort in my bed, in my arms, in me.

  I breezed through the door and found Mrs. Faulkner waiting anxiously. Her stance was so rigid I wondered if she’d been standing there in that spot all morning.

  “Any sign of him?” I asked.

  “Nope,” she said coolly.

  “Anna,” I said, “I’m really sorry for upsetting you.”

  She wiped a tear from her face and pulled me into a hug. “I know you’re a grown woman. I realize that. But…I just…I love you like you’re my own. Please don’t put me through that again.”

  “I promise,” I told her again, hugging her tight. It was not often that Anna and I shared moments like this, so I couldn’t help but revel in it. She was the only person left in my life who loved me.

  We never spoke of the day that she’d helped me escape the monster. My monster. We hadn’t known each other then, but that hadn’t stopped her from risking her own safety to rescue me. We had been joined at the hip ever since. She’d flipped her life upside down for me. It wasn’t something I took for granted. I
provided her with everything I could to make her feel safe and content.

  I’d never understood why she stayed with me. She could go anywhere she wanted. I would set her up financially, but she simply said she liked it here. I was perpetually expecting her to up and decide that she wanted to move on with her life, go find herself a nice man, retire in Miami, something, but every day she was still here. She insisted on keeping busy. I would’ve never asked her to lift a finger, but she said that she refused to just sit and wither. She seemed to enjoy looking after the patients…and me. I was grateful for that. I really didn’t know what I would do without her. She was invaluable.

  After a long hug, she released me, straightened her dress, and wiped her face clear of emotion. “Where do you think he is? Should we call Richard again? You know that if he left the compound, he’ll have to face his sentence. Richard will have no choice but to remand him into police custody.”

  Before I could answer, Nathan walked through the door. “What’s for lunch?”

  “Where on earth have you been?” I said with my hands on my hips. “We almost called the law to you.” I winked when I knew Anna wasn’t looking.

  “I couldn’t sleep, so I just wandered the property. You know, I didn’t realize how big it was. I got a little turned around in the orchard.”

  “You are not to leave this building without Mrs. Faulkner knowing about it, are we clear?”

  “Whatever, Doc.” He rolled his eyes noncommittally. I mused on his acting skills. He almost had me fooled.

  Mrs. Faulkner walked away with a satisfied smirk. Nathan was right behind her. He grazed at my behind as he walked by. “I’m going to get you for that later,” he whispered.

  Later…I smiled to myself. He would be back for me later. It was all I could do to contain the schoolgirl squeal that threatened to erupt from me. I didn’t know if it was the thrill of knowing we shouldn’t be doing this or if it was him, but I was over the moon. I felt like I was in high school sneaking around with the bad boy in the janitor’s closet.

  There was still that nagging guilt for sleeping with one of my patients. Of course, there was. I had broken the code of ethics. I felt like less than a professional because of it, but only when he wasn’t around. When I saw him, all of that went away and I just felt like a woman, a wanted, sexy woman. That was something I hadn’t felt in quite some time.