Love Ignited (Hollywood Series Book 2) Page 13

  Even though I’d brought it up, I suddenly felt like the topic wasn’t suitable. “Well, you don’t have to do that for me.”

  “I want to do this for me,” he said, giving me a little squeeze. “I like having you in my arms.”

  How was it that he always knew the right thing to say after he’d said the wrong thing? Most men at least stumbled around when they pissed off a woman, but not Nate. He just turned everything back around in his favor with a single sentence.

  “So, did you grow up here? Is this your family home?”

  My eyes flew open. “No.”

  “Where are you from then?”

  “Oh, here and there.” I tried to sound casual. “We moved around a lot.”

  “Are you from a military family? Wait, I thought your dad was a psychiatrist.”

  “Listen, I’m really tired. Can we talk about this another time?”

  “Why do you hate talking about yourself? I just want to know you.”

  “I don’t hate talking about myself.” I spoke softly, trying not to sound defensive.

  “Tell me about your family.”

  I propped up on my elbow because, obviously, he wasn’t going to let this sleeping dog lie. “What would you like to know?”

  “Do you have brothers and sisters?”

  “Nope, I’m an only child. Goodnight.”

  He laughed. “You aren’t getting off that easily. What about your parents? Are you close to them?”

  “No.”

  “So you really are here by yourself?” I nodded. “Why? I mean why aren’t you married with babies? You said you haven’t been close to a man in two years. Why is that?”

  I didn’t have an easy answer for that. “Nate, I need you to accept that there are certain things about me that I can’t discuss with you. I know it sounds like a line from a movie, but it’s true.”

  “Are you joking? I’ve told you everything about myself, things that I’ve never shared with anyone. So, no, I don’t accept that.”

  “But I’m your therapist. You’re supposed to confide in me.”

  He let out a clipped, not even remotely funny laugh. “Do you know how many therapists I’ve had? I didn’t tell you those things because you’re my therapist. I told you because I trusted you. I knew you were different than the others after our first session. You said you trusted me, too, so I really don’t understand what the problem is.”

  I closed my eyes. Did I trust him? Like, really trust him? If I did, I could tell him everything. I would’ve loved to have just told him everything, to have had someone to talk to, but I couldn’t. I could give him the short version though. He deserved that much.

  “I’m in a program. Well, not a program per se, but I’m in a type of protective situation. It’s not witness protection, but it’s similar to that. I’ve never told anyone. No one knows, Nathan. No one. Well, Mrs. Faulkner knows, but that’s it. If anyone found out…” I felt the panic rise.

  “Why are you under protection? Did you testify against the mob or something?” he asked, only half joking.

  “I can’t tell you that. Please, I’m begging you not to ask me to…” My voice cracked with emotion at the thought of even talking about it.

  “Shhh, babe, you’re okay. Are you always like this? Are you always this afraid?”

  “No, but when you breached my gate and came in my house, it really freaked me out. I’d felt pretty safe here until then. I’m having the whole thing replaced next week.”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

  “I know.” I leaned into him.

  “Go to sleep. No one will touch you as long as I’m here.”

  Yeah, my dad had said the same thing…

  Somehow I did manage to find sleep. When I woke up, Nathan was gone. There was a note on the pillow next to me. Counting the minutes until you’re in my arms again. I hugged it to my chest, smiling.

  What was this man doing to me? Better yet, what was I doing to him? I would’ve expected a note that said something like, Counting the minutes until I tie you to the bedpost, but this was almost romantic.

  I jumped in the shower and shaved all the way up to the top of my legs, because that was what women did when they were expecting to be touched by a man. The very act of it excited me.

  I checked in with Anna. She seemed completely clueless as to what had been going on between Nathan and me, which was good. She offered to give me a ride to the shop to pick up my car, and I accepted.

  On the way back, I stopped by Lenny’s to further discuss my new security. He assured me that it was top of the line. I meandered around town for a bit, which was completely out of character for me, but I felt good and wanted to enjoy myself. I shopped a little and bought myself a few things. I bought some things for Nate as well.

  Then I breezed into the drugstore, picked up a box of magnum-sized condoms, and handed the pharmacist a self-written prescription for a diaphragm.

  After I felt that I had covered all my bases, I left and headed back to Vestige Estate in my newly repaired Mercedes. I made sure they put a spare in the trunk this time. Apparently, that little dive I had gone to was seedier than I had thought. It turned out that my tire was slashed according to the repairman. Obviously, my hackles went up at the news, but I reminded myself that I was safe here. I had taken every precaution. I had done everything right. It was probably just some drunkard looking to blow off some steam.

  As I was pulling into my estate, I caught sight of Nathan on Fierce. I actually had to stop the car to watch. His form was mesmerizing. Nate’s dark hair seemed to match Fierce’s coat and mane. They were beautiful together. He rode him as if he’d been made to do so. Fierce wasn’t gentle, but Nathan didn’t seem to mind at all.

  I observed them ride all the way to the stable. Nate dismounted and doted over the animal, petting his coat, running his fingers through his mane. He wore a broad smile. He seemed genuinely happy.

  It was a sight. I had seen Nate smile, but not like this. He was so relaxed, so at peace. I couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of joy for the man who had led such a troubled life.

  Even though I was observing from a distance, he noticed me. I put the car in gear to speed while away feeling like an intruder. I felt as if I had stolen a moment from him, but he nodded and directed his beautiful smile at me. It made me want to run to him. I returned the gesture and pulled through my home gate.

  I spent the afternoon preparing a roast with potatoes and carrots. My whole house smelled like home. Not this home but my home. The home I grew up in. Sweet memories of Daddy swirled around me: him teaching me to ride, him teaching me to swim, him calling me his “baby girl.” I could almost feel his presence. Funny how certain scents could spark nostalgia.

  I let the roast simmer in the crock-pot until my late-night guest arrived. When he walked in, he kissed me, but as I had hoped, he was distracted by the smell of a home-cooked meal.

  Frank was a chef. He cooked for our celebrity patients, preparing gourmet meals as most of them were accustomed to eating. My meal was far from gourmet, but something told me that my Idaho man would prefer my cooking.

  “Have you eaten?” I asked.

  “It doesn’t matter. The smell of what you’re cooking makes my stomach growl.” He sniffed the air. “Is it pot roast? Say it's pot roast.”

  I laughed. “It is roast.”

  “If you’re trying to seduce me, it’s working,” he said as he made his way to the kitchen.

  “Well, you know what they say…The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach,” I joked. His face immediately changed. “Oh, I didn’t mean…”

  Why had I said that? Awkward. I hadn’t meant to imply that I was attempting to make him fall in love with me.

  “Let’s just eat,” I said.

  He nodded with a forced smile. I’d made him uncomfortable. I hadn’t meant to. I felt bummed. I had really been hoping to get a taste of the carefree Nathan I had seen earlier.

  I poured u
s both a glass of sweet tea, careful to avoid my wine stash, and set us up at the dining room table, which had never been used.

  He took a bite and his eyes rolled back. “Man, this reminds me of home.”

  “Me too,” I said.

  We eased into a light conversation about the horses, particularly Fierce and how much Nathan enjoyed him. After dinner, we shared my leftover crème brûlée.

  “So what’s up with Ivan, the vicious?”

  I laughed, taking another spoonful of custard. “He’s harmless… mostly.”

  “My ass!”

  “He’s a good snuggle buddy.” I shrugged.

  “What kind of name is Ivan for a dog?”

  “Ever heard of the Pavlov’s dog experiment?”

  “Sure, I took psychology.”

  “He’s named after Ivan Pavlov.”

  “Clever.”

  He’s taken psychology? “Wait… You went to college?” I asked a little more shrill-like than necessary.

  “Yes, I went to college. Why do you sound so surprised?”

  “I thought I knew everything there was to know about you,” I said. He eyed me skeptically. “Well...to tell you the truth, I used to be a big fan.”

  “I knew it!” He pointed accusingly. “You had my poster on your wall, admit it.”

  I laughed and nodded. “I did.”

  “What do you mean you ‘used to be’ a big fan? You’re not a fan anymore?”

  “I’m your biggest fan right now.” I smiled.

  “So what’s your plan? You fill me full of pot roast and take advantage of me?”

  “Something like that.”

  “In that case, I’m done eating. Take me to bed.” He dropped his spoon.

  “I’m not finished yet,” I said, defiantly taking another bite.

  “I think you are.” He made a grab for the dish, but I was faster. He was out of his chair in one swift movement. I slid around the table, giggling, but he gave chase. Right as I made it out the back door, he grabbed me. As if I wasn’t laughing hard enough, he started tickling me. I stumbled backward, and we both tumbled into the pool.

  I shot up, holding my dish over my head. I looked around, no Nathan.

  “Nate? Shit!” Ivan had jumped in the pool, no doubt threatened by Nathan’s chasing me, and he was attempting to eat Nate again.

  Luckily, he wasn’t gaining much purchase in the water. “Ivan, aus!” He backed off, paddling toward me.

  Nathan emerged, shaking his hair, “What the fuck is wrong with that dog?”

  “You okay?” I laughed a little at him.

  “Yeah, but why does he keep doing that? He’s seen me with you.”

  “It’s the way you moved. He felt threatened.”

  “Make it stop.”

  “We’ll work on it,” I said, more to Ivan than Nathan. I pushed the dog up on the steps of the pool so he could climb out.

  Nathan swam over to me but looked at Ivan for permission, “Can I touch Ella, Ivan?” My dog shook the water from his coat in response. “What does that mean?”

  I laughed. “I think he’s okay with it.” I took in Nate’s form in the soft glow of the pool lights. He was mesmerizing. His dark hair was dripping, his eyes smoldering, his lips wet and ready for my kiss. I reached for him, wrapping my legs around his waist.

  “Birth control?” he asked as he was stripping my wet clothes from my body.

  “Taken care of.”

  “Pill?”

  “Diaphragm,” I answered. He hummed in response. I decided that I was glad I got it because I could just be in the moment with him. I didn’t have to stop and worry about a condom. I had seen all of his lab work, I reminded myself. I could just relax and enjoy.

  Relax and enjoy was exactly what I did. We started in the pool and worked our way inside, eventually to the bedroom. I could tell by his expression that Nate was bound and determined to make this last. Every time he got close, he stopped and moved us from one location to the next. He brought me to orgasm over and over. I was satiated, exhausted, and ready for sleep, but he kept going. He’d been gentle and romantic, holding back his own desires. I realized that if I was going to please him, I was going to have to give a little.

  “How do you want me, Nate?” I whispered. “Tell me…Better yet, show me.” Desire darkened his features. It was as though he had already planned it in his head. He flipped me over on my stomach. I thought I would feel his tongue on me, but instead, I felt his fingers caressing my backside.

  “Your ass is just too tight for me.” he slid his finger in. “Too tight. We may have to work on that.” No way, I thought, but I let him have his fun. “I would love to tie you to this bed, but I won’t. Open your legs,” he ordered. His tone was completely different than before. He was a different person when he was playing this part. I wondered which one was real.

  We hadn’t had sex like this. In fact, I hadn’t had sex like this since…

  He filled me in one thrust. I fisted the sheets beneath me.

  “No,” he said, grabbing my wrists. “Let go,” he demanded but I didn’t. I held on to the sheets tighter. He popped my butt gently. “Let go.” He managed to pry my hands from the bed sheet and pulled them behind my back.

  I felt the panic… Ten, nine, it was just Nathan…eight. He wouldn’t hurt me…seven.

  He wrapped his free hand around my long hair and pulled me up to him. “Elena…”

  My name from his lips made my fear skyrocket. “Nathan…” I managed. I tried to pull away, but both of my wrists were held easily in one of his hands. “Wait!”

  “Are you messing with me, Elena? ‘Wait’ is not the safe word.”

  Safe word? My mind scrambled to come up with the safe word, but I was drifting too far away. Back to that moment.

  “Dr. Elena Maddox, Elllenaaa,” he rolled my name off his tongue, blowing it up the back of my neck. A shiver ran through me. “Elena, why are you doing this to me?”

  “Doing what, Phillip?” I said, trying to hide the fear in my voice and humanize myself to this beast.

  “Why are you avoiding me?”

  “I wasn’t…” A small sob threatened to escape me at the thought of what he’d done, what he was capable of. “Untie me so we can talk about this, Phillip.” I tried to wiggle free from the zip ties that bound my hands behind my back. I felt so vulnerable on my knees, with my hands behind me. I thought of making a run for the door, but he would be right behind me. “Just talk to me,” I said again.

  “Oh, Elena, if you only knew how much I’ve talked about you. I’ve talked and talked and talked; in fact, did you know that your dad released me as a patient because I made him uncomfortable?” He laughed. “I will never understand that man.”

  “You murdered him,” I spat.

  “No, no! I defended my love for you!”

  I let loose the sob that I had been holding in at the thought of finding my daddy in our foyer, in a pool of his own blood.

  “Oh, sweetie, don’t cry.” I cringed away from his touch.

  “You killed my dad…”

  “Your dad tried to keep me from you. I asked politely to see you. I tried to court you properly. If he would’ve just stepped aside and let me in the house, he would still be here. He said you didn’t want me. He said I was crazy. You know, I’ve never cared for that term. ‘Crazy,’” he repeated. “He was my shrink. If I were crazy, why would he release me from the institute?”

  “You escaped.”

  “The point is, I would never hurt you. You see that, don’t you? You know how much I adore you.”

  “Obsession is not the same as adoration. Let me go, you crazy fuck!” As soon as the words left my mouth, I knew I shouldn’t have said them. He came to stand in front of me. His face contorted into something inhuman. He was tall and lanky. With his shaved head and gray eyes, he looked like a nightmare.

  “Is this your way of breaking up with me? I have to say I would have expected more from you.”

  “Phillip,
try to understand. We aren’t together. We never have been.” I tried to stay calm. “I couldn’t break up with you because we aren’t a couple. You have to let go of this fantasy.”

  “I will never let you go. Do you understand that? You will be with me forever.”

  “No,” I muttered.

  “No? Did you say no?” I couldn’t do anything but cry. “You haven’t even given me a chance! I’ve done everything to win you! All you’ve done is hide from me! You’ve teased and taunted me, playing your little games. I can’t take anymore!” He pushed me from my knees to my stomach, and a fear unlike any other took hold of me.

  “Phillip, let’s talk,” I said again through tears.

  “Enough talking. I’m going to tie myself to you forever. You’ll never be able to leave me.”

  “Phillip, please don’t do this. Please!” I pleaded, praying silently that Phillip would come to his senses.

  “You don’t want to make love to me?”

  I composed myself. “Not like this. Untie me. This isn’t right. It shouldn’t be like this.”

  He seemed to consider me for a moment. “No, you’ll run from me. I won’t lose you again.” He ripped down my underwear and did the unimaginable. I was kicking and screaming, but no one could hear me. We were in an area of the hospital that was being renovated. No one was there.

  “Elena,” he whispered in my ear, “I’ve dreamed of this moment…being inside you. Stop fighting.”

  “I hate you! You disgust me!” I screamed.

  He paused his movements, “Will I disgust you when you’re pregnant with my child?” I froze. “Yes, Elena. I’m going to fill you with me.”

  The horror of his words sent me somewhere else. I blacked out. When I came to, my hair was matted to my face, wet with tears and sweat. I vomited from the thought of all of it.

  “Dr. Maddox.” I heard my name and jumped. “Honey, get up,” a woman’s voice called to me. “You have to run now.” I heard a snip, and my hands fell limply at my sides. “Run, honey, he’s awake, run!”

  She shoved me out of the room and whacked him with her mop handle so we could get a head start.

  Just as we hit the elevator, I heard him scream, “I will kill you both! This will never be over, Elena. Never!”