Love Ignited (Hollywood Series Book 2) Page 16

  He would be released in a month, and I had already completed his paperwork. I went ahead and set up a consultation with a psychiatrist in LA for when he got home. I hadn’t shared any details about him—his secrets were his to share—but I made the appointment, and that was all I could do.

  I also set him up in an apartment so he would have a fresh start. I knew it was crossing the line, but the lines were so blurred between Nathan and me that I hardly saw them anymore.

  I just had to tie up some loose ends before I could fax Nathan’s paperwork. It would be the first time I’d seen him since I realized that he had transference issues.

  I pulled on a long white sundress with silver sandals and wore my hair down with just the sides pulled back in a clip. I let the humidity shape my locks into long summery waves. It wasn’t that I was trying to look nice but more that I wanted to show Nathan that everything I had put him through hadn’t been in vain. I felt like myself for the first time in years. He had given me that. He deserved to see it.

  I got in my car to drive up to the treatment center, but on my way, I saw him in the stables. I pulled up and got out, admiring how truly handsome he was. I didn’t feel lustful but adoring. I adored this man.

  I caught his eye, and he stopped mid-step. My name escaped his lips in a whisper.

  “Hey.” I smiled. “How are you?”

  “Doing good and you?”

  “I’m well, thank you.”

  We shared a moment when our eyes met. Why did I come down here? What am I doing? Oh yeah, paperwork!

  “I’m sorry to bother you. I just need you to sign a few things so I can get your paperwork faxed.”

  “You’re radiant,” he said.

  “Oh,” I smiled. “Thank you.” I stood there, awkwardly tugging at my dress.

  “You said something about paperwork?”

  “Yeah,” I snapped out of it. “I just need you to sign your new lease and…”

  “Lease?”

  “Yeah, well, I hope I haven’t overstepped, but you said you had lost your house, so I rented you a place.”

  “You didn’t have to do that.”

  “I wanted to,” I said sternly. “Also, I’ve set you up with another therapist. A man,” I clarified, “who will continue your treatment. I haven’t told him anything. Your stories are yours to tell, if you choose to do so.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Sure. Just sign these and leave them with Mrs. Faulkner. She’ll take care of it.” He gave a polite nod. “So, I guess that’s it. I wish…” I didn’t think I could go through that conversation about how I wished things could’ve been different again, so I just said, “Good luck, Nathan.”

  I got to my car before he said anything. When he called my name, I almost sagged with relief. I wanted him to want to talk to me.

  “Where are you off to?” he asked. I looked at him a little confused. I wasn’t ‘off to’ anywhere. I rarely left the property. He knew that. “Well, you’re all dressed up. I thought maybe you were going into town.”

  “Oh, I was just—”

  “Are you going to see your friend?” he interrupted.

  “My friend? Oh…no!” Now it was him who looked relieved. “I just felt like wearing something other than work clothes for a change.”

  “It suits you.”

  “It is me,” I said because light and airy was who I used to be, before the monster came into my life, and for the first time since then, I felt that way again.

  “Ella,” he called to me again when I opened my car door. “I still feel it.”

  Butterflies took flight inside me in anticipation of hearing the L word fall from his lips again. “Feel what?”

  “The urge to feed the monster.”

  “Oh…” was all I could muster.

  “I’m controlling it, thanks to your help, but I don’t know that it will ever go away.”

  I smiled, because if he’d said that he didn’t feel the urge anymore, I would’ve known definitively that he had transference. I had used reverse psychology on him when I’d told him that if he truly loved me, he wouldn’t have those urges anymore and he’d aced it.

  “That’s great that you’ve learned to control it. I knew you could. After all, control is your specialty,” I joked flatly. “I’m very proud of you.”

  “I don’t want your pride, Elena. I want your love.”

  Even though he still felt the need to be punished, he still felt love for me too, which, to me, meant that maybe he really did love me.

  “I love you, Elena. I’m hoping the fact that I’ve called you Elena twice in two minutes without you cringing means that maybe you love me too.”

  I hadn’t even noticed him using my given name. I knew, for me, that meant real trust. Trust and love.

  “Elena,” he said, testing his theory again. I smiled. “You love me, don’t you? You aren’t my therapist anymore. You’ve made it a point to let me know that much. So if you love me, you can tell me. I wish you would tell me.”

  I stood there just waiting to hear what he would say next. I wondered if his next words could possibly be as sweet as what he’d just said. But instead of talking, he approached me, brushing the stray hairs from my face. He placed a soft kiss on my forehead.

  “It’s okay. You don’t have to love me. Thank you, for showing me that I can love. I think I’ll love you my whole life for that,” he whispered softly against my skin. I leaned into his touch. Then he was gone. He had stepped away. “Do you think I could come visit Fierce sometime? I would offer to buy him but, well, you know.” He laughed.

  I laughed, too, even though it wasn’t funny that he was penniless. “It’s not like you’re leaving today. You’re still here for another month.”

  “Three weeks,” he said.

  “Really?” I started trying to figure how I miscalculated.

  “Yep.”

  “So you’re counting the days, huh?”

  “Absolutely,” he said. I gave a curt nod and tight smile. Of course, he was ready to get back to his life. I wasn’t so excited to see him go. “I have twenty-one days to make you fall in love with me before you send me packing.”

  I laughed out loud. “Is that right?”

  “It would be a lot easier if Gigantor wasn’t following me around all the time. Although I am beginning to wonder if he is swiping all of the little gifts I’ve been leaving for you.”

  “What gifts?”

  “I knew it! Frank, you devil!” he shouted out into the day. Even though Frank was nowhere in sight, I suspected he was lurking as I had instructed him to do. “I’ve left you flowers every day that we’ve been apart. I even figured out how to braid the fucking horse’s hair.” I laughed again. “I’ve been coming out here like a school girl braiding Sparkle’s hair every morning.”

  “I haven’t seen it.”

  “Frank, you love-sucking bastard,” he yelled again, playfully.

  “Easy now, Frank may kick your ass.”

  “Nah, he likes me.” He smiled. “I think I’ve won over Cujo too.”

  “Ivan?”

  “Yeah. So that just leaves you and your keeper.”

  “Mrs. Faulkner,” I said flatly.

  “She’s a cold-hearted woman.”

  “No, she isn’t.” I came to her defense. “She’s just worried about me. She loves me.”

  “Then we have that in common,” he said with a smirk, then walked out the back of the barn into the orchard. He was trying to lure me, but I didn’t take the bait. Instead, I glanced over at Sparkle to see her mane in a mess of tangles where he had indeed attempted to plait it. It looked so sad that I laughed. Flowers every day, huh?

  I got back in my car and headed on up to see Anna. Things had been awkward between us, but it was getting better.

  “Anna,” I called when I walked inside. She didn’t answer, so I made my way around the facility. When I didn’t find her in any of her usual spots, I headed toward her living quarters on the other side of the build
ing. She had her own apartment-like space in the west wing. Frank had the east. I didn’t ever knock when I went into her place, even though I probably should’ve.

  I heard an echo of her laugh as soon as I opened the door. Her giddy, girlish giggle made me wonder briefly if she was alone. I knew she was. She had to be. She had never had a guest.

  “Anna?”

  “Oh! Oh, I have to go,” I heard her say. She scurried out into her kitchen. “Ella, I didn’t hear you come in.”

  “I’m sorry, um, do you have a guest?”

  “No, why?”

  “I heard you talking.”

  “I was on the phone.”

  “Really?” I raised my eyebrow. “With a man?”

  “Oh, for Heaven’s sake, Ella!”

  “It sounded like you were talking to a man. I’ve never heard you giggle like that.”

  “I wasn’t giggling.”

  “You were too. Where did you meet him? Are you online dating?”

  “No!”

  “Dish,” I squealed, plopping down in the chair by the sofa.

  “Don’t you have anything better to do than to pester me?”

  “Absolutely not,” I said, studying my nails. “I could sit here all day.” She crossed her arms, staring at me. “Or I could just hit redial on the phone.”

  “You wouldn’t…”

  “You don’t think?”

  “Ella, this is my private business.”

  “So you do have a boyfriend? I knew it!” I smiled.

  “Is there a reason you’re here?”

  “Oh, yeah, I came to let you know that I got Nathan’s paperwork together and he will be turning it in to you. I just gave it to him.”

  “You went to see him?”

  I frowned at her judgmental tone. “Yes, I saw him, and I don’t think he has transference.”

  “Really? So what then? You’re in love with him? Is that what you’ve come to tell me?”

  “What if it were?”

  “We have been over this. You cannot be with him, Ella,” she said shaking her head.

  “Why? He loves me.”

  “Seriously, it’s like you don’t even listen when I speak. Sometimes I think you’re deaf to the tone of my voice. Richard and I both agree that Mr. Bradley needs to go.”

  “You’ve spoken with Richard about this behind my back?”

  “We both have your best interest at heart.” She jutted her chin out, as if that made it all right.

  “I can’t believe you would call him. I was handling this. Before today, I haven’t seen Nathan in weeks. I did what you asked. Why would you further involve Richard? He specifically asked me to leave him out of it, Anna!”

  “I didn’t…I mean, it wasn’t like that. I just…Well, the thing is…”

  I stared at her as if she’d gone mad. “Spit it out!”

  She closed her eyes. “I speak to Richard every day.”

  “What? Why? He’s never said anything to me about that.”

  “I asked him not to,” she started, twisting her hands in front of her.

  “I don’t understand.”

  “Richard and I are in love, honey. We’ve been together for about a year now.” I thought I would have to pick my jaw up off the floor. She moved to sit beside me. “I fell for him the moment I saw him, but we’ve just been together for the past year.”

  “How…I mean, how are you together? You’re here all the time.”

  “Do you think that you’re the only one who can sneak around?” She laughed. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to laugh, but really.”

  “When…?”

  “He flies out to see me every second weekend of every month.”

  I was dumbfounded. How could I not know this? “Why would you hide this from me?”

  “You know why.”

  “I really don’t.”

  “What are you thinking right this moment?”

  “That you should be with him. For goodness sakes, Anna! Go, be with him! You deserve to be happy. I want you to be happy.”

  “That’s why. I won’t leave you as long as that monster is still roaming the streets.”

  “Richard can protect you. He could protect you much better than I could,” I told her.

  “Honey, it’s not me I’m worried about. I won’t leave you.”

  “I’ve got Frank and Ivan. We’ll be fine,” I said nervously. Anna didn’t protect me. I knew she thought she did, but she didn’t. She did give me something that I would miss desperately, and that was companionship and love. Even still, she should go.

  “Well, like I said, Richard and I have had this conversation a hundred times, and we just think it’s best—”

  “You’re fired,” I said. “Pack your things. I will book you on the next flight out to LA.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous,” she yelped. She wanted to go. I saw a brief flash of excitement in her eyes before she wiped her face of emotion.

  “I’m not. Anna, you have given up so much for me. Let me do this for you. I need to do this for you. I’ve been so selfish—”

  “I won’t hear another word about it, young lady. Now, back to the topic at hand: Mr. Bradley. Tell me why you suddenly think he doesn’t have transference.”

  “I can’t tell you everything without breaking patient confidentiality, but trust me. I know he doesn’t, and he isn’t an addict. I know I let my hormones get the best of me and I screwed up as a therapist, but Anna, I’ve never felt this way about a man before. I really think I love him.”

  “You better do more than just ‘think you love him’ before you make this move, Ella. You know who he is. You know that the second he walks out of here and gets back to LA, the press will be all over him. If Phillip Rhodes is still after you, and your photo is splashed across every tabloid in the US, it will make you an easy target.”

  I felt my eyes widen. I hadn’t thought of it that way. I’d only thought of losing my license. I couldn’t be in the public spotlight. That was just not an option. Besides, it wasn’t like Nathan had asked me to be with him in LA. I guess I had just assumed he would make arrangements to stay here, but he couldn’t do that, and I wouldn’t ask him to. He was in show business. If he stayed here, his career would be over for sure.

  With all of those thoughts swirling in my mind, I left and headed back to the house. Sure enough, there was a bouquet of wildflowers at my gate waiting for me.

  “Love me yet?” he said from behind me.

  “Thanks for the flowers. I see that you picked them yourself.”

  “Yeah, well, it’s not like I have phone privileges to order flowers so…”

  I laughed. “They’re beautiful. Where’s Frank?”

  “He had to take a leak. I made a run for it.”

  “He’s going to be pissed.”

  “He’ll get over it. Can I come in?”

  “Um…I don’t know. I need to think about some things.”

  “You’ve been thinking.” He stepped closer. “That’s all you do is think. Tell me how you feel. How does it feel when I do this?” My knees went weak when he nipped at my earlobe. It was a good thing his arms were there to catch me. “Do you like having me wrapped around your little finger?”

  That made me smile.

  “I doubt I have you wrapped around anything,” I commented.

  “You do. I hate it.” I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped me. He pulled me to him, holding me tight. “Be with me.”

  “What do you want from me, Nathan?” I searched his eyes. “You know we can’t build a relationship. I won’t move to LA. You can’t move here. We just can’t—”

  “I don’t care about all of that. Be with me now: today, tonight, tomorrow, the next day. Stop analyzing and let’s just be together.”

  “I don’t want to get close to you again just for you to leave. I won’t do that to myself.”

  I tried to pull out of his arms, but he held me firm. “I know you love me, Ella.” He pressed his lips to mine, and I couldn�
�t hold back. His touch was too much. I wrapped my arms around his neck, deepening the kiss.

  “Dr. Lindsey?” I heard Frank and dropped back on my heels, breaking the kiss. Nathan didn’t let me go, though. “I’m sorry. He slipped away from me.”

  “It’s okay, Frank. Take the rest of the day off.”

  “But…”

  “Really, Frank, it’s okay.” He nodded and trudged back up the hill. “Now what?” I asked Nathan.

  “Be with me.”

  Chapter 11

  We burst through my front door barely closing it to keep from breaking our kiss. I wrapped my legs around him, and he pulled me against him eagerly. I couldn’t get his clothes off fast enough. I was sure he felt the same way.

  There was nothing but passion between us, raw passion. He pressed my back against the window and pushed into me. A moan escaped him when he filled me completely.

  I expected a merciless pounding, but that wasn’t what happened. He propped me on the windowsill, slowing his movements. He slipped the straps of my dress down to reveal my breasts, then leaned away to look at me. “You’re so beautiful.”

  I pulled him into a kiss while I pressed him into me. I needed release. I had been secretly waiting for this for weeks, just hoping, wanting, needing him to be inside of me.

  He was eager, but gentle. I could tell it was taking everything he had not to come. I could feel every muscle in his body tensing.

  He pressed my breasts together, licking my sensitive nipples before pulling out of me altogether and dropping to his knees. I fisted his hair as he lapped at my most sensitive spot, bringing me to the brink. I was on the verge when he pushed back inside me. “Come for me. I want to feel you,” he whispered.

  I held on to him tight. He thrust deep, pushing me over the edge. My teeth sank into his shoulder as I came around him.

  “Harder,” he moaned. He came as I bit down.

  He held me in the windowsill for a long moment before carrying me up to bed.

  “Can I stay with you?” he asked, still holding me in his arms. I nodded. He was ready again as soon as we were on the bed.

  After another round with Nathan, I was exhausted but completely satisfied. I lay there staring at the ceiling. I wondered where we would go from here. How would we ever make this work?